"live each day as if he deploys tomorrow"


Saturday, September 10, 2011

Coast to Coast

I did it!!! I drove 2,728 miles. It was....interesting. Instead of allowing the Marine Corps to move our household goods we had the BRILLIANT idea to move ourselves!! The idea was to take advantage of the uhuals ability to tow. This allowed us to tow my husbands mustang cobra on an auto trailer. Then, the military would have to pay us for the move, we would make some extra money, all that goodstuff. So I strapped on my Super Wife cape! I secured our condo in Chula Vista CA, spent a month packing our house in Camp Lejeune NC, 6 hrs loading the uhual, an hr hooking up the auto transporter and loading the mustang, 1 full day cleaning the old house for our move out inspection and then finally moving day- as our 34 feet of truck and trailer pulled out into the street I followed in my little SUV, complete with bulldog, two cat carriers, and a giant suitcase. Oh and the diaper bag containing Mollies food, water, dishes, and toys. Oh and the diaper bag for the cats. Oh and my "goodie" bag containing snacks, gingerale, and road trip cd's from my best friend.

The first day the Paz convoy successfully drove 390 miles to western NC where we enjoyed time with my family for a few days. The next drive was a bit longer. It required two stops for gas. $240 each time. By the time we reached Little Rock,AR we were exhausted. We could see our hotel from the interstate. Perfect! Or, not! Our uhaul was too large to make the turn and become stuck...high centered. It was 95 degrees out, the pets had been in the car for 13 hrs. One of the cats was rolling in his urine as we were paying the tow truck $250 to move our truck 5ft. The nice gentleman at the front desk opened the back gate for us and we staggered up to our room, bathed our cat and slept for two days. The next stop was at a truck stop in Oklahoma. I ate a pickled sausage, corn dog, pork rinds, mountain dew, and a sugar daddy lollipop. My dad would be proud. Next we arrived in Amarillo TX. The only memory I have of this stay was traffic and the delicious burger I ate at Whataburger, yum. The drive into Flagstaff AZ was breathtaking. The air was fresh,crisp,clean, mountain air in the middle of a forest surrounded by desert. That drive was amazing but stressful. The animals had picked up on the traveling routine and were behaving very well. However, the uhaul experienced mechanical problems due to the climate changes (perhaps). Who knew a vehicle could burn $180 in only 200 miles? Whoa. I was beginning to think we would never make it. On the 8th day of our trip we saw the "california welcomes you" sign!!!! We made our way past all of the boarder crossings and inspections and arrived at our new home at 6 pm. I guess I was still wearing my super wife cape because somehow my husband and I with no other help, unloaded the entire truck, 6,700 lbs of furniture, in 3 hrs and had the truck returned to the drop off location before 10 pm. We have been living here for one week. Everything is unpacked, we are starting to get settled. We hit some bumps in the road.... our central air went out during an extremem heat wave, the next day we experienced the massive power outage, and today we couldnt get our sprinkler system in the garden to turn off. I am not fretting or frowning. I am happy. We did it. A new journey is upon us.


"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."James 1:2-4

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Best Freakin Friend





In every friendship there are different needs and purposes. You have those friends that you can cry to. The friends that will kick you when your down, providing just enough motivation to get you back on your feet. There are always the friends that run up your phone bill and the ones that only call when they need a favor. Then, there are the friends that you will never forget.







For instance, when I was a child my idol, my hero, and my best friend was my Granny. Blanch Eula Carlisle. She was a tiny little blue eyed white haired lady that treated me like a princess. She taught me to never take no for an answer and that nothing in life is free. She tucked me in every night and whipped me with a hickory switch every day. She never called me Connie. Not once. There is not a doubt in my mind that Granny watches over me from heaven. She was special to so many of my friends.


When I was about 7 years old my friend Carrie got to experience the love of my Granny. Carrie and I had the same long blonde hair. My mom loved giving us french braids. We both loved to play outside on my families farm. We didn't usually get into mischief but there was this once- when we sprayed silly string and fake snow on everything in my bedroom. Carrie was the kind of friend that would wear matching outfits to school with me and go shopping at the thrift store with my Granny on Saturdays. Sadly one day Carrie changed schools and we rarely saw eachother as teenageers or adults.



I was home schooled most of middle school and lucky for me during my transition to highschool I had another fabulous friend, my cousin Pharon. We talked about boys and subscribed to teen magazines. We fought over Devin Sawa (yes the kid from Casper) and we stayed up late giggling in the dark and getting yelled at by our parents. We used to call her dog Sampson in the middle of the night to protect us from the gobblings. Because Pharon is family we never really grew apart but as life happened we took different paths.







During my first semester of highschool I took a dance class. On the first dayI noticed a stuck up skinny girl on crutches (apparently she had dropped a bucket of ice cream on her foot at her after school job). I saw that same tall thin girl on my bus that afternoon. She was irritating. As my worst nightmare would have it - she got off at MY bus stop. The same bus stop that said "Carlisle Drive",how dare she?! I approached this loud, eccentric,pretty person and... I fell totally in love with her. And her family. Almost 13 years later Josie is still one of my nearest and dearest friends. I call her the bestest. Her mom is my mama Judy. Her sisters Brandy and Sasha are those I always wanted. Her step dad gives me the best hugs! Not to mention Josie's son Adin is the first child to ever call me "aunt". There are not words to describe how much I miss them all.



On May 16th 2009 my husband was deploying to Afghanistan. I really didnt want to stand alone waiving goodbye to those buses as they drove away with the person I loved the most. I called up a childhood friend who lives local and ask for a favor. Even though we attended the same elementary school, middle school, high school and even youth cheerleading, I hadn't seen this girl, well, woman, since graduation. Yet there she was. By my side. Prepared to wipe my tears and hold my hand. How do you thank a person like that? Samantha and I are practically inseparable. We talk on the phone every day. I'm not referring to text, I'm talking about "good ol' on the phone laughing at lame jokes" talk. She knows all of my secrets, regrets, promises, and wishes. I could call her in the middle of the night and she would run over a convoy of gate gaurds to get to me.



Then of course there is the man that makes me feel like the luckiest woman in the world. My husband. He can always make me smile. He makes me feel beautiful even on my worst day. He laughs at my corny jokes and he thinks my accent is cute. I look up to him more than any person can imagine. He is an amazing dancer, kisser, video game player, mess maker, order giver, and even a more incredible friend.



I wish I could mention every single one of my friends by name and recall all of the memories that we've had together but I would be here an eternity. I've grown as a person because of you all. You are the best freakin friends ever.




Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Count me in



"Don't measure the distance; measure my love."



When my husband was in fourth grade he drew a picture and wrote a paper titled "when I grow up I want to be G.I. Joe". Shortly after his 18th birthday he left home to make his dream come true. He joined the United States Marine Corps and was serving with 1st Battalion 8th Marines in Iraq on his 20th and 21st birthdays. He didn't seem to mind that he was missing presents, family, and cake. He is an extraordinary, selfless man. On his 22nd birthday we had a huge celebration planned. We were to spend his birthday drinking and eating with our family and friends. Instead, we spent the day sitting in a room at the Liberty Inn eating Bojangles because of a flaw in some paperwork. We did finally arrive to Massachusetts where we spent three years on recruiting duty. My husband was a very successful recruiter, shaking hands and kissing babies. But it was primarily a desk job and in the end not his cup of tea. After careful consideration of leaving the military to take a civilian job, he re-enlisted. When my husband reported to the 2d battalion 8th marines I began to see him less and less. It is harder than you can imagine to share my husband with the Marine Corps. Even when he's home, he's rarely "home". It started with over night field trainings several days a week, accompanied with an occasional 24 hr duty, and 30 day trainings in VA and CA, followed by a very difficult deployment in 2009 and another in 2011. This summer will make 3 out of 5 wedding anniversaries that he has missed. We've sacrificed Christmas, thanksgiving, graduations, and even funerals. I guess the most shocking part of it all is that I would do it again. Exactly the same way. We have met the most amazing people on our journey. I can't describe the friendships and bonds you build with other marines, wives, moms, and some that have no affiliation with the military at all. I am certain that I would have never crossed paths with these terrific men and woman if I had chosen the easy way out and stayed in Hendersonville, NC. Of course I miss my parents, brothers, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews and friends! I am lucky to have their support. They understand why I am who I am, why I love being a Marine wife. They are equally proud and amazed by husband. He is our hero. Our journey is only beginning. As we grow closer to homecoming a new adventure awaits. This year on my husbands 28th birthday he got to call home. The first words he spoke to me were alarming. "Are you sitting down?" Not what I had planned for. I was thinking more along the lines of "Happy Birthday!". He quickly informed me that the Marine Corps gave him a present. Orders to California. He was afraid I would panic and all though I had never planned for a move to the west coast, I became excited! Relieved almost. The future is never guaranteed and even more uncertain with the military. We don't have the luxury of planning things like some families. It's nice knowing where we are headed next. No matter where the road leads us I will always stand by my Marine. I will always be at home waiting for him, loving him... even if he spends every birthday with the Marine Corps.




Sunday, April 3, 2011

Warfighter


For my husband Anibal Paz, the greatest man I know.


While some of my brothers sit in their rooms and play,

I'm on the frontline shouting orders, on my knees to St. Michael I pray.


No time to worry about showers, food, or my mail that is months late.

On my mind is staying alive til my homecoming date.


Did you hear about the guy that stayed inside the wire?

He rates my same medal, though we know he's a liar.


Why do I do this job I do? Not for awards. Not for praise.

Out here I am bigger than myself, I do it for the pride that my infantry heart craves.


I carry a rifle named after my wife.

That's all I need in my warfighter life.


If you don't believe me this far,

Go on, type my name into your Google search bar.





By: Connie Paz

Monday, February 7, 2011

Tick-Tock

Two weeks ago I celebrated my 8 month anniversary at my job. I dont consider this a major achievement but I was on a good start with this business. I was promoted to store manager by the time I had my 90 day review. I felt pretty accomplished with my work. Everyone can tell you that my job history since moving back to NC has been adventurious to say the least. I've always maintained a "job" but for once I felt like I could start a new "career" with this management experience. Until.....last Saturday! I received a message from the companies owner stating that our store would be closing. The building was foreclosed upon and the store closed immediately. Now I am left sitting at home. Even though I am still getting paid for a few weeks all I can hear is the sound of the clock. It's not ticking fast enough. I want it to say "tick-tock, tick-tock, its spring. Tick-tock, tick-tock, it's summer. Tick-tock, tick-tock, its homecoming!!" I talk fast, I write fast, I learn fast, I drive fast, I must find a new job fast! I have filed for unemployment benefits which is great for my wallet but not so great for my sanity. I suppose I should take up a new hobby. Maybe I will work on my scrapbooks, maybe I will learn new Portuguese words, or maybe I will teach my cat how to use the toilet??? Anything to pass the time. I have to admit that today was a great day. My neice Victoria and I have made the best of my being unemployed. Last night we danced to "girl songs" for an hour. This morning we packed a care package for our wonderful Anibal. Then I spoiled her with some chocolate munchkins from Dunkin Donuts. On the way home she suckered me into a quick trip to the park where we took turns taking pictures of eachother. She understands that each week I print the pictures and send them to Afghanistan to her Uncle. It's amazing how much she loves him and talks about him. I'm certain that he will adore this weeks 3 yr old photography...





Job or no job I am still the luckiest girl in the universe. I thank God for my many blessings. I know he will always see me through my challenges. Even the long boring ones. :)



"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Pro's and Con's

Think of a bad day that you had recently. Were you sick? Did you get stuck in traffic? Maybe it was the death of a loved one? Was your child hurt? Unexpected bills? Now, think of going through all of these things alone.
This was my biggest fear on May 16th 2009 as my husband entered his third deployment. This was our first deployment as husband and wife. The beginining was scary. The unknown. He stepped onto the bus with his weapon on his back. As he sat there staring out of the window with his big beautiful dark eyes I couldnt help but wonder if I would see him again. Every night I would lay in bed crying and torturing myself with what if's. A few weeks into the deployment I opened my mail box hoping to find a letter that had traveled from the other side of the world. Instead, I found a book sent to me from a North Carolina church. This "Book of Inspirational Prayers and Quotes" was accompanied by a letter. I was disappointed to say the least. I shoved the book back into the envelope and didnt touch it for weeks. One night I stumbled upon it and as I flipped the pages a quote jumped out at me:

"IT IS OUR ATTITUDE AT THE BEGINNING OF A DIFFICULT TASK WHICH , MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE, WILL AFFECT IT'S SUCCESSFUL OUTCOME" -William James.

After reading that quote for the first time I wanted to slap myself. I had concentrated on the negatvies. I made a list. I guess it could be considered a pro's and con's of deployment. On one side I wrote down all of the bad things. I wrote how my heart ached to hear his voice every day. I wrote how much I hated this war. I wrote how I didnt want him harmed in any way. This half of the list was very lengthy. Finally, I begin the other half. The pro's. On this side I wrote how proud I was of my husband. I wrote how wonderful it was to be loved by this unseflish and most courageous man. That was all I wrote. I ripped up the first half of the list. Those two things were all that mattered. They were enough to get me through the remainder of the deployment.





This week we had to pack up all of my husbands gear for his next deployment. The familiar sick feelings rushed into my stomach. My head begin to spin and I started getting scared. Thinking about the imminent danger, the scarce communications, and all of the things he will miss and have to do without. Then I remembered...the list!



I will celebrate my birthday and my anniversary alone. I will go to doctors appointments, vet appointments, and change my oil alone. I will attend cookouts, weddings, and funerals alone. I will do these things with a full heart and a smile on my face because the man I chose to spend my life with chose the military before he chose me. I am among the silent ranks. I do not wear a medal for a job well done. Instead my reward is having the honor to be married to a United States Marine.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Another Day in Paradise

Somedays I feel lost. Almost as if I were living someone elses life. A few days ago life felt normal. I was laying on my couch reading a book by Charlene Harris. I was covered with a blanket and my dog Mollie had her wrinkled bulldog face pushed up against my back. Several times I giggled as my husband with a serious expression manuevered his character through an Xbox game.




The next morning the alarm sounded and immediately my mind went into over drive. It was a Saturday morning. Most families are having breakfast or watching cartoons with their children but we on the other hand had an agenda with a big ol USMC seal stamped at the top. We loaded hundreds of pounds of gear into two bags. Yes, two. My husband has acquired many skills in the military, he is now an efficient packer. Before we hopped into the car I went into the bathroom and had a silent cry. I looked at myself in the mirror and reminded myself that I am strong! But I made a point not to wear eyeliner. The worst part was waiting for the buses. It seemed like days.




After one last kiss I watched my entire world board a bus with his weapon over his shoulder and determination on his mind. Today I woke up to an empty house. I am certain that God equipped me with an autopilot button. I continue through the daily motions :shower, food, work, tv, bed, etc but mind is occupied because my heart is away training for war.